Yesterday..dear was on9 finally in the nite..about 11pm...was hoping to c him on9..but yet wasnt sure if he would on9 as promised..cuz I had made him upset. But when he came on9..he told mi he wasn't angry wif mi..and that cheered mi up. Requested him to go audi, which I later regretted..Played a while happily in a locked room..but later he wanted to join den and zhu..so we went to find them. He mood swinged suddenly and felt sian. Then I started to feel sian too..my moods r alwiz highly affected by him..Wanted to talk wif him..but he was running away. I juz felt so helpless and useless. So I went to another channel and juz sat there infront of my lappy..fa da-ing..almost fa feng-ing..mei came on9 to look for mi and we had a little chat and after dear went off audi..I chatted wif mei a while b4 going to msn.

Dear was on9 in msn..seeing his msn title..made mi more moody..I juz cant seem to do aniting rite these days. Feeling frustrated wif myself. Seeing him in such a state, the more I couldn't get myself to slp. The last ting I wish for..is him being so unhappy, esp if it has to do wif mi. Managed to talk to dear finally. But he juz seems so moody and fa dai-ing, so his response was kinda slow. But at least he din ignore mi. Talked tings out a little..towards the end..can sense he is still moody but a teenny winnyy better than earlier on. Talked till 4:40 am..left about 2 hr of slp..dear oso...today dear will have a bz day..Hope everyting goes well for him..Hope he cheers up too..

Feeling tired and vexed still..kinda frustrated alittle at work today too..cuz of supervisor and my mood..sorry dear..I decided to skip school today. I feel that I nid the sea badly..and I missed it. And totally moodless..tired..sorry dear..Hope u wun blame mi for this. Well, emo songs come in handy at this point in time. Miting my frien after work today..hope that after glancing at the sea..I will feel peaceful.

Wonder when I will have my next dosage again? Looking forward to the day coming soon...but for the time being..I guess..for duno how many days..I have noting to look forward to..

Didi..I noe I din manage to cheer u up though u appeared or tried to appear brave and happi infront of mi. Admire ur courage though. Hope u will b fine after this one week. Aniting..juz ring mi..

Yup..shall end my post here...

*signing off* n missing him oredi..

Serena