Talked wif deardear on msn yesterday during lunch hours for about 1.5 hours. Then dear suddenly offlined and never came back. ZZZ..dear alwiz like that de..bo tell mi jiu off9 ler..#T%$#T^%T Dear had gone out and was very tired. 11.45 he logged in msn and bu dau 5 min, dardar wan go koon liao..he sounds like cmi liao..very very de tired. Wonder where he went ><" But hen tian leh..he still onlined though he is tired, juz to tell mi he gonna go koon :X x333 And yesterday was one of the rare cases he actually waited for mi to sae wan an before he offlined. *F3* Usually I din even have a chance to respond, then he jiu bu jian ler. *F4* Then I oso went offlined and joined him in JS dreamland =X

Today woke up early to make ai xin cookies for deardear. So sweet the gan jue. Baking cookies with your own hands for someone you love and treasure, for someone so special in ur eyes. So was happily doing it luh. And decorating the bottle. =X I din tink the cookies turned out bad. At least they weren't hard to the extent I expected it to be and they were edible and quite tasty I guess. :D Quite proud of my efforts though I shudder when I tink of the negative response dear, den, zhu and cure will have. Esp dear, since his is the biggest portion. Hope dear likes the cookies. =\ Paiseh that you have to eat 5 days ago the cookies, and so many of them. *F3* Couldnt make them later as I would not have the time to bake them when I go work. Sry deardear. And Den, please remember to help mi take the foto! :D

Okie...back to studies. Haiz. Hope deardear will online today though he said he wun be online...I miss u liao deardear. x33333333 (5.33 pm)


Yea..I
1) am too sticky
2) expect too much
3) likes to assume tings
4) depends on others for help

I wish I needn't b such a mafan person. I wish I din need so much attention. I wish I din need so much care and concern. I wish I can accomplish the task without bothering others. I wish I noe wad's going on in other peoples' minds. I wish I can stop expecting so much from others. So many wishes, which means I am a actually a failure in so many areas. Haha. Perhaps, I am not matured enuf. I dun dress maturedly. In fact I hate wearing formal clothes which makes mi look matured. Call mi childish or wadever u wana call. This is mi. I juz feel comfortable in my own style. Perhaps I dun tink maturedly. I dun handle tings maturedly. Starting to hate myself..Voicing out sometimes doesn't work. It may turn out negatively. I wish I neednt depend on you and I guess if not for U, I wouldnt b able to b able to accomplish wad I reali wish to complete. Because of wad I wish to accomplish, I need to trouble 3 people? I duno y I am getting all emo. I m juz not frien enuf ba. I duno wad U r tinking, wad is going on in ur mind and yea...I like to assume tings =] But would I noe if everyting is kept right deep in ur heart? Okay, Probably U juz wana keep it to urself. You dun see a need to let others noe. And yea..when people have problems, they let u noe. So u can be there to give them encouragement, support them but when U nid them, where r they? But have you ever told them wads in ur mind? People can sense, but they cannot read. For mi, I will juz tink that I am not a good frien enuf, a frien that you will confide in. And yea. Dun U tink the distance is getting bigger? I am feeling it..

Juz treat it as I am not in my right state of mind at this moment. Talking one whole chunk of rubbish and if I de zhui u in the process and I bet I said tings U dun wish to hear, I apologise. Frienship is a 2 sided stuff and of cuz I dun wish you to walk away from my life. I tink I better stop here. The more I talk, the more wrong stuff I may say.

Hoping tmr wil be a better day. For both you and mi.